A Weekend of Mourning and Travel

Last Thursday morning (6/1), I received some most unwelcome news: my uncle had passed away from a massive heart-attack. While it is tough news for anyone to hear their uncle has passed, it requires some hard thought as to whether it would be wise to travel from Japan to Detroit for the funeral. Well, in this case, it was my only conceivable option.

On my mother's side, there were only two children: my mother Pam and her brother, Mike. Mike never married, and I am my mother's only child, which made this a small family. To make it even smaller, my mother died when I was seven, followed by my grandfather two years later. So for a period of about fifteen years, it was just me, my grandmother, and my uncle. When Grandma passed in 2000, my uncle was all I had left on my mother's side.

The thought crossed my mind numerous times over the weekend, "I'm not just burying my uncle, I'm burying my whole family." This helps to explain why it was so imperative I be there: to lay my mother's family to rest. This, combined with the legal necessities of caring for his estate, necessitated a very fast trip to Detroit from Japan.

To keep this post short, I'll just say that the weekend went as smoothly as possible. My parents drove up from Indianapolis to lend some much needed support, help, and advice. The funeral home director, Mike Kolb, was fantastic. The lawyer helping with the details of the estate, Don Strehl, has been equally exceptional. Both have gone above and beyond to make this an overwhelmingly positive and hassle-free experience. And of course, there's Helen Bono, my uncle's 84 year-old neighbor, who drove him to the hospital and kept him company during his final minutes.

Also, a great deal of thanks needs to be said to Mr. and Mrs. Alan Bitel. Al was my uncle's best friend, and was the hospital's only contact when my uncle passed. He and his wife spent many hours searching the internet, trying to find me. After a string of amazing connections and seeming dead-ends, they managed to find my in-laws, who called me in Japan. Thanks again, Bitels! Without them, I wouldn't have been able to give my uncle a fitting burial, nor pay my respects.

On a different note, my friends and co-workers in Japan have been very sympathetic and understanding, especially the staff at Hisayama Jr. High School. They shared my sorrow and offered their most sincere condolences. Hara sensei, my supervisor, was also a very sympathetic ear, and a huge help in making my trip possible. I would also like to thank Miho sensei at Sakurabaru Elem. School, who had to forego two precious days without my presence in the classroom.

I arrived in Detroit late on Friday, made funeral preparations on Saturday, held the funeral on Sunday, went through my uncle's house on Monday, and left for Japan at 7:00 that evening. Thanks to the international date-line, that put me back in Japan on Wednesday. My calendar tells me that Tuesday actually happened, but I'm not sure when, where, or how. The weekend was packed, and thanks to my parents help, we were able to do all that we had to do in that short amount of time. But only just! There will be a lot of work awaiting me when I return home in August, but it's good to know that everything's being well-cared for in the meantime.

For my uncle's obituary, please click the link: http://www.meaningfulfunerals.net/fh/obituaries/obituary.cfm?o_id=45010&fh_id=10502

Rest in peace, Uncle Mike!

John Michael Harrison, 1947-2006